(1.) THE EVERY MAN'S BLOODY MARY
Similarly easy is a truly original concoction of mine, a shot I call the Ass Spanking. When my workplace received a huge over-shipment of Wild Turkey 101, we tried to get rid of all the extra bottles by selling shots for $2 ($1.75 cheaper than normal). However, even when on special, this bourbon wasn't selling very well to the younger crowd, so I told a few customers I'd like to make up a mixed shot to help promote the Wild Turkey special. My customers all agreed the shot needed a catchy name, and some rather terrible suggestions started being thrown out, followed by some even more terrible responses as I scrambled to find a drink recipe to match the name--Come in My Mouth, which had me unsuccessfully pairing Kahlua Irish Cream with Wild Turkey, and Wet Panties, which, well, just wasn't very tasty. Finally, Ass Spanking was thrown out, and I thought, "Hmm. I need something that has a bit of a kick in it, but will still go down smoothly enough for people to want to take it." The Ass Spanking was a huge hit, definitely ridding us of some of our Turkey overstock, and has since become a regularly ordered shot, particularly on birthdays. It's abrasive, but actually quite enjoyable...much like a sexy spanking!
New Orleans is my favorite place to travel, so clearly, I've had my share of hurricanes. What do I notice about the hurricanes in NOLA versus those here? Well, the ones in New Orleans are so delicious that the bartenders have a hard time keeping your glass filled, and, whew, are they unexpectedly potent! Meanwhile, in Kentucky, it's just hard to find a decent hurricane. They're either very poorly mixed and taste like straight up Bacardi, or they're weak glasses of grenadine. The hurricane is a surprisingly uncommon drink in Kentucky, and the ones you can find are not true New Orleans style hurricanes and contain different liquors, like amaretto, vodka, and even tequila, than NOLA's hurricanes (almost entirely rum) do. I've delved through dozens of variations of the hurricane recipe and finally decided that in Kentucky, I don't like anyone's but my own--yes, even my coworkers' hurricanes are disappointing. Some customers tell me my hurricanes are too sweet, or are just rum runners, and I am disappointed that I have yet to duplicate that orange sorbet taste hurricanes have in NOLA. However, here is my no-frills hurricane recipe. It's a lengthier mixing process than the other easy recipes found in this blog, but a very worthwhile one.
Now, let's be honest. I'm a bachelorette in my twenties dating a guy who's about to turn 38--so "juvenile" isn't really the mood I want to conjure to a guy's mind when he walks into my bedroom. However, my room originally looked, well, childish, cheap, unsophisticated, and generally lackluster. I didn't need it to be "girlier," I needed it to be more womanly, more feminine. I needed my room to stop looking like the inside of a dorm, and be a grown-up bedroom. So what was I to do--gut it out, and completely re-do it? No. I eliminated the hot pink curtains and accent rugs, all the dated trinkets and picture frames, plastic shelves, and college-y decor (Christmas lights...what was I thinking?). I replaced all that "kid stuff" with some framed art (featured later in blog), young-but-classy green and white curtains from Wal-Mart ($18), and an all-over lack of clutter and pink! I found that I could keep many of the green accents; they were more subdued than the hot pink. Most importantly, though, I made my bed grow up! I didn't want to spend over a hundred dollars on new bedding. I was tempted to purchase a beautiful black satin sheet set I found on Amazon for $24.99, tempted to buy luring higher-thread count Egyptian cotton sheets--but, I was smart. I tossed out the dorm-appropriate black comforter and replaced it with a soft, white Ralph Lauren down comforter I found at T.J. Maxx for $35, and got rid of the childish pillow collection in place of just the shams that came with the comforter, along two plush sage green pillows I found at T.J. Maxx for $8 each. I kept my dark pink sheets with the bedding to prevent it from becoming too "old," and added a crisp white bedskirt from Wal-Mart ($21.50). Most significantly, I added a gorgeous white canopy (yes, you can have a canopy even if you don't have a canopy bed!), for just $40. Now, my bedroom went from being "girly" to "feminine" and "cute" to "elegant"--without having to buy any new furniture! I now have a sophisticated, inviting bedroom--perfect for any bachelorette dating an older man! 
The downfall of my new apartment: one teeny-weeny bathroom, with no storage space at all. This is what it looked like when I first moved in. I vamped it up with some low-cost zebra-print decor from Wal-Mart and even accenting with zebra print outlet covers (about $5 each) from 
one of my favorite Ebay users, Who Gives a Crap? Creations, an extremely helpful and handy seller. To solve the storage problem, I also turned to Wal-Mart for some shelves ($24), hanging toilet paper holder ($6), over-the-door towel rack ($9), and vanity shelf ($8).
Artistic framed Marilyn Monroe canvas prints, $19.99 each
Buddha wall decal, $9.99
Marilyn Monroe wooden print, $14.99
Victor Jorgensen's "Kissing the War Goodbye" wooden print, $12.99
Big Lots also proved to be a very valuable source for wall art. I found a huge assortment of pin-up girl tin signs for $6.99 each to decorate my kitchen. When I first set out to re-decorate my apartment, I spent quite a bit of time browsing AllPosters, a website which allows you to custom design poster prints with matting and frames. AllPosters can become very expensive--my boyfriend, for example, just spent $120 on a matted, framed, 11" by 17" copy of the Full Metal Jacket movie poster. I wanted the finished, sophisticated look of framed art, but I didn't want to spend $200 on each piece. So I decided to embark on doing this myself, and I was definitely pleased with the results. Did you notice the John Lennon piece hanging over my couch in the first item on my redecorating list? The print, which has the lyrics to "Imagine" over Lennon's face, was only $4.99 on Amazon, and the black wooden frame with faux gold matting, was $5.99 at Big Lots. Here are a couple other selections I've framed myself:
Marilyn Monroe Playboy Centerfold Poster, $9.99 with Free Shipping, Ebay; Black Poster Frame, $9.99, Meijer
The most important lessons to learn from this blog? NEVER think you can't afford to live in the kind of style you want, and ALWAYS explore your options. I stumbled onto a new couch and an amazing TV not even expecting to find anything, and I purchased my Wii and Playstation bundles after a lot of research about my different price options from different sources. The Internet is a very valuable shopping tool. Don't get stuck in the rut I did and live in a juvenile, mix-and-match collection of secondhand junk just because you're afraid you couldn't afford to have more elegant and adult surroundings.
Like these ideas? Stay tuned because I will soon post more home improvement blogs, one about my path to closet organization (it's a rocky road, too!) and one about remodeling an old "new" addition to my apartment.
Don't be fooled by the movie box; How I Won the War is not a John Lennon film, in the way that, say, Desperately Seeking Susan was a Madonna film. Admittedly, I wanted to see this movie so badly because of my adoration of Lennon, and although he is hailed as the "star," his character, Gripweed, has little screen time and even less dialogue--although he does deliver some very memorable lines. It's difficult to imagine a star of such magnitude as Lennon appearing in a film today and the film not focusing on extreme close-ups of the mega-celebrity, or attempting to support whatever "image" the superstar already had. (Can you imagine, for example, if Kurt Cobain had made a movie...could he have played anything but a moody, depressed tough guy?) However, the film nods only once to Lennon's celebrity--at the beginning, Gripweed is asked if he's married, and he replies, "No, I play harmonica," a quiet homage to the Beatles' early records with Lennon on mouth organ. Lennon is truly a small part of the film, which is also a testament to his seriousness about the film and trying to be a good actor, as opposed to just using this as another vehicle for fame or money. Other Lester favorites, such as the comically innocent and passionate Michael Crawford as Lieutenant Goodbody, give excellent performances. The fast-paced dialogue, influenced by a novel and a play, is so witty, it even makes the most astute viewer want to pause the film and ponder what they just heard. The film takes on so many different perspectives, it's almost unsettling; sometimes, the characters unexpectedly turn and speak to a "fourth wall." In a very memorable moment during one character's death, another character actually ushers away one of Lester's cameramen, saying, "There, there, you've seen enough." At one point, the film switches to a movie theatre, and our characters are on the big screen, with people eating popcorn, watching them die. It is that astonishing filmwork that makes Lester so unique and this gritty film so disturbing. Lester's ideas were far ahead of his time; for example, adding canned laughter to a war scene, and altering the colors of the movie (each stage of the war is depicted with a different overall tint). How I Won the War is one of the most understated and intellectual films I have ever seen, and truly an ignored piece of cinematic greatness, and provided one of the best quotes of the 1960s--"We've got to find a more humane way to kill people!"
(1966)
The fact that this movie was a part of the Beatlemania of the early and mid-1960s is very unfortunate, because it will never be taken seriously as a film, but always seen as "one of the Beatles movies," like Magical Mystery Tour and Yellow Submarine. Lester, who also directed A Hard Day's Night, also downplays his work with the Beatles, stating that he allowed them to re-write his scripts because their natural jargon was much funnier than his writing, and also saying that the films' settings were simply determined by where the band wanted to vacation. However, the music could be taken out of Help! entirely, and you would still have a solid comedy, unlike A Hard Day's Night, which is dependent on the presence of the hit records it was designed to promote. Unlike HDN, there is a plot, centering around a Middle Eastern cult who ritually sacrifices its members and has the chosen sacrifices wear a holy ring before their death. Ringo Starr, in all his Beatlemania-era womanizing, has a fling with one of the cult members and unknowingly comes into possession of the holy ring. For the rest of the movie, the Beatles are fleeing from the deadly cult, with the help of an insider (Eleanor Bron) and two scientists determined to capitalize on the band's peril (Lester favorites Roy Kinnear and Victor Spinetti, both in defining roles). Although lighthearted, the movie actually has some well-done scenes of intrigue as the boys are on the run. And while it falls prey to mid-60s cinematic exploration--such as the scene where Paul is injected with a drug that makes him shrink so small he can fit into an ash tray--the film's strength comes from the performances of the Beatles themselves and their hilarious dialogue. If Lester honestly did let the Beatles re-write their projects with him, he made a smart move; certain quotes from the movie will linger in my head for days after I've seen it. It's hard not to chuckle throughout the movie at the very witty dialogue. And although the Beatles' music probably weakened the film's cinematic credibility, it's undeniable that the inclusions of "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away," "The Night Before," and other mid-60s classics isn't thoroughly enjoyable. :=)
